GoodBye 148

I am 131.5 on most days, which is impressive, I lost 10 pounds, some days a little more, some days a little less. I am doing mostly good, I have my moments that I hate to talk about. I will never go back to the old way I lived, but I no longer feel the need to tell you how I am doing, instead I am focusing my attention on my other loves in life, my daughter and photography. Please join me here and I will randomly update you with how things are going. I still want to lose another 2-3 pounds but I can't complain with what I have now, I have to be happy with who I am no matter what, otherwise I will never be there and will always be saying I need to do more, need to eat less, need to do this and that. I looked in the mirror this morning before jumping into the shower and I liked me, I liked how I looked and I like how I feel, both physically and mentally. Emotionally I still struggle like most people do, I printed off a coupon for Ben & Jerry's - well it WAS a good coupon, $1.00 off two but I didn't buy them, I did however buy the butterfinger candy bar that was waiting for me at the register and I did eat it all, and then I had a cupcake, but again, no more about me and how I am doing because I don't want to discourage anyone, and I didn't mention that I had a great workout earlier that morning and ate great the rest of the day. I am still focusing on healthy eating, small portion, exercise and a sense of happiness. I thank you for struggling with me while I somehow got through the worse month and hope you continue to stay on your path. Like I said I will still be blogging, but my focus has shifted, I hope you enjoy the change.

5 Pounds Total

In 18 days I have lost 5 pounds. Maybe it doesn't seem like much but my original goal was only 10 pounds, not that I have a goal to lose weight, I really want to live a new life eating healthy and working out, but I figured if I did that I would probably drop 10 pounds which would be the healthy me but now I figure it might be a bit more, 15 perhaps? I don't think I can lose much more, the smallest weight I remember being was 120's and that was out of high school, I am already 136 now. I am impressed with my dedication, I am ready to go on vacation next week and watch what I eat. I am a little worried about the workouts, only because I don't know how tired I am going to be and how much room I will have and if there is a tv I can use, I was thinking I may just go running outside. It is very humid in Oklahoma so I have that to consider, but a nice 10-15 minute run (because I don't think I can run for much more) might do the trick. I might even be able to convince my mom or my aunt to run with me. I know I can do it, figuring it out is the fun challenging part right?

What day am I on?

I just can't keep the days straight anymore, maybe that is a good thing. I felt bad about losing my hunger pains but maybe they are just gone. I have a new nagging problem - energy. Working out and eating healthy is suppose to give a person more energy but I haven't found mine yet. I don't know why, I can only assume I might be eating too little - but seriously, could I be eating too less? Today I am going to eat a tad bit more to see, even though I feel like I am eating enough and I no longer feel hunger pains. I actually was surprised when I stepped on the scale today and saw I had lost another whole pound. I have lost 3.5 pounds since last Monday, I really didn't think I would really lose so much weight as fast as I have. My breakfast was the same, 1/2 banana and a bowl of rice krispies and 1% milk, my morning snack (which comes up in 4 minutes) is peanuts but I added a few more. I bought some veggies to have with lunch, a piece of bread with peanut butter and honey. I have yogurt again for my afternoon snack, maybe I will add a few peanuts. Dinner tonight will be breakfast, scrambled eggs, cheese and bacon - yes I said bacon. Two pieces, I have to get rid of it or it will go bad. I might even have half a piece of toast. It all sounds like enough to me - so we will see how I feel tomorrow. It could still be the adjustment to waking up early.

Day 7

In 7 days I have lost 2 pounds but I feel like I am shrinking. It is not about the weight loss, it can't be because if it is all about weight then as soon as I lose the weight I will fail. I am not on a diet because diet's never work, I am eating healthy. I am eating so much less and so much healthier. My portion sizes are so small and I eat two or three snacks a day to help. I am getting active, I work out each morning and did you know mornings are the best time to work out? When you work out in the morning your body will burn fat because you haven't eaten in so long. I am walking further to my car, parking further, and just generally trying to stay active. The hunger pains are all but gone except when it is close to time to eating again. I am still tired but I have already adjusted to waking up an hour earlier, my body is awake again before the alarm clock. I did sacrifice an hour at night, I am going to bed around 9:00 because I am so tired. I have moments of complete exhaustion but I was also menstruating last week and that could have been why. Eventually I will have more energy, probably in another week - but I feel like the worse is over, I made it past the hardest week and it looks good from here!

Day 4

Day 4 of working out and eating less/healthy food is going great. The constant hunger pains are finally gone and the tiredness is easing up. I realized I can't do this to loose weight because I will fail like last time. When we lost all the weight last time, which was our goal, we relaxed and here we are again, so this time I am just doing it as a lifestyle change - losing weight will be one of the benefits, as will the extra energy. I started at 141.5 pounds 3 days ago when I weighed, today I was 140.5. I don't expect much weight loss, with all the muscle building and weight repositioning I will notice the pants getting looser and that will be the test. Yesterday we went grocery shopping and bought our weekly healthier meals. I decided it would be easier to eat the same 7 meals each week of course making the portions smaller. Lots of veggies and protein at dinner, chicken, pork chops, beef stew, spaghetti, grilled steak, tuna melts and a free night to just pick at whatever we can find. This is going to save us a ton of money - we won't be eating fast food 3 to 4 times a week anymore. Working out this morning was easier, I also started multi vitamins. I am still really tired at night, I have been going to bed around 9:00 but that will balance itself out. Today I had a small bowl of rice krispies, 1% milk and 1/2 a banana for breakfast, a glass of hot tea, for snacks I will have a few peanuts/almonds and yogurt, lunch will be honey wheat bread with pb, maybe jelly and maybe a veggie, dinner tonight is 1 little steak and grilled veggies, or pork chops cooked on the stove with salt/pepper and a veggie if Kris doesn't feel like grilling.

who knew?

Apples and Peanut Butter is a delicious snack, I normally don't like the peel but I ate every bit of it, and whole wheat waffles with low fat plain yogurt and strawberries is very doable. It was different tasting when you expect the sweet syrup but I think I liked it. Yesterday I did great, I went to a birthday party for 1 year olds and did not eat cake or have soda. I did catch myself eating in bed, but it was brussel sprouts so I am not going to be too hard on myself. I already feel 5 pounds lighter, but I am not going to weight until Friday, actually Tuesday because I have to find out how much Summer weighs, I take my weight and hold her and subtract the difference, she turns 10 months. Maybe I will try to put her on the scale on her own if she will stand there. I did not go for a walk last night but I plan on going shopping this morning with Summer, our new Mother's Day tradition, and I will try again tonight because Summer doesn't have a bath tonight. I am really happy with the food right now, I am trying to eat one meal and plan out the next snack and meal. For snack today I will eat either pretzels, or I got the new ritz and pretzel I can try. For lunch I am thinking another sandwich like the one I had yesterday, it was a whole wheat tortilla, cheese and today I will add turkey. Kris even liked it but it was a little dry, maybe I will add some mustard or low fat mayonnaise. I am trying to eat a veggie for lunch and dinner, so today it might be carrots for lunch and steamed broccoli or zucchini for dinner. I am also still trying to go "plastic free". I did order some new safe plastic plates and cups yesterday, until I can find a good replacement I need to get rid of the scary toxic ones we have. I am looking at bamboo and stainless steel as a replacement. I am also looking to find new toys for Summer, wooden or cloth, non scary plastics. I need to take some time and find some really good sites. I am happy and encouraged this morning, I can do this!