m&m's - just one

The old me would have eaten just 1 m&m without even thinking about it, it is sitting there doing nothing waiting to be picked up and eaten, but the new me remembers how fat the old me was, and I have proof - I saw the photos this morning and even tho I was fatter than I am now, I am still fat! Ok maybe fat isn't the right word but it wasn't pretty, prettier yes, but still not pretty yet. I see the results, they are there and I am still as motivated as ever to keep at it. Tomorrow is our day off but I have plans to go swimming at a friends so maybe I can sneak some activity in that way, of course if the water is warm and WAIT I have to put a bathing suit on, I am NOT ready but I digress, I will wear that suit and I will feel confident and beautiful no matter how flabby I really do look. It is Friday, I have steak and broccoli to look forward to and I already did my grocery shopping yesterday so I hope I can relax, force myself to relax!

Back from Vacation

The vacation started off great, I had no trouble keeping my food somewhat healthy and my portions small, at least for the first 3 or 4 days, I blew it on day 5 and 6 but it is to be expected when your family visits around a kitchen table and food is continually being cooked at eaten! I was so ready to get home and get back on track. I worked out about 4 times while on vacation so I felt good about that. I still ended up losing .5 a pound, and another pound today so in one month I am down 6.5 pounds. We will take comparison pictures tonight or tomorrow, I really expect to see a big difference and I wonder what I will think of myself, will I look better, will I see more flaws? I have upped my food a bit, I am eating almost a whole sandwich at lunch now, but breakfast and snacks have remained the same. Dinners are getting easier and I have some yummy menus to work with. I still have to work on a few nights. I really feel happier about life in general and I think the food and working out are responsible. It took about 3-4 weeks to really feel the benefits of the new changes we made but I am so glad we did. I am a little hungry right now, lunch is still 35 minutes away. I can make it, I always do, and I feel better for it. Sorry I was gone so long, as you can imagine it was pretty busy and just off, I am glad to be back to normal.

Up 2 Pounds

Seriously how did I gain 2 pounds? Is it salt, extra water, stress? This is why you should not weight yourself every single morning, sure it is encouraging when you are losing but when you are staying the same - or gaining! I am not really worried, it will come off, if anything we upped the intensity for our workout so maybe it is muscle, probably in my legs because they hurt! Someone brought cake into work today, evil coworkers, but it is chocolate chocolate and I haven't really wanted chocolate, which seems odd, but it is true. Luckily it isn't german chocolate, that would be hard to resist! I am leaving for vacation tomorrow, we will be flying for breakfast and snack so I need to find some easy carry on foods to eat. I am excited, I can do this! I may not be able to blog for a few days, but know that I am still motivated!

Frumpy

Frumpy is how I feel right now because I have on a pair of pants that I bought within the last month that don't fit anymore, they are baggy, saggy, and I feel the same. Losing weight is a good thing, don't get me wrong, but I always have such trouble finding pants that fit! Being tall is nice and being tall and thin is even better but my struggle to find long skinny pants is never a fun thing. I really shouldn't be complaining should I?
5.5 pounds down seems like such a small amount but I guess I didn't have that much to lose to begin with, I can't tell so much with the pounds but with my clothes and my ring, I can sure tell a difference. I am really excited to take the photos in a few more days and really see a difference. I am also happy to report that I will be taking the Slim in 6 DVD with me to Oklahoma, I was so worried about continuing to work out but that video will keep me on track. Kris is going to switch over to the Power 90 video we have, hopefully it isn't too hard, but if it is we can switch back to Slim in 6 when I get back.
I ate like a champ all weekend, and worked my butt off on Sunday. We still took a break on Saturday but went shopping and walked around to stay active. On Sunday we got up and switched the Slim in 6 DVD to the harder workout and it was great! Later in the day I pulled a wagon with two girls (30 pounds, 25 pounds) around the block in (I bet) under 5 minutes. I even ran some of the way, it was hot out, early afternoon, and I was worried about them being in the sun, so I speed walked and ran around the block. I felt like I was dying but I enjoyed getting to run. I have always wanted to run but never got that far into my body development to be able to do it, maybe this time I will physically be up to that next step.

5 Pounds Total

In 18 days I have lost 5 pounds. Maybe it doesn't seem like much but my original goal was only 10 pounds, not that I have a goal to lose weight, I really want to live a new life eating healthy and working out, but I figured if I did that I would probably drop 10 pounds which would be the healthy me but now I figure it might be a bit more, 15 perhaps? I don't think I can lose much more, the smallest weight I remember being was 120's and that was out of high school, I am already 136 now. I am impressed with my dedication, I am ready to go on vacation next week and watch what I eat. I am a little worried about the workouts, only because I don't know how tired I am going to be and how much room I will have and if there is a tv I can use, I was thinking I may just go running outside. It is very humid in Oklahoma so I have that to consider, but a nice 10-15 minute run (because I don't think I can run for much more) might do the trick. I might even be able to convince my mom or my aunt to run with me. I know I can do it, figuring it out is the fun challenging part right?

Lunch is over

I just finished lunch, steamed asparagus and a pb&j sandwich. As much as I would like to get away from the pb&j, I haven't found a good replacement yet. I tried a turkey bologna sandwich yesterday with cheese, lettuce and mustard but I think the mustard turned me off. Hey I even ate almost a whole pb&j today too instead of half. I don't know if I really need to eat more but it was good, which is the wrong reason to eat and I do feel a little guilty but not for long. Dinner last night was most excellent, I made chicken tenders in the crock pot with water and 1/2 a taco seasoning pack. The chicken was so tender, I put it on a flour tortilla, added black beans, cheese, avocado, salsa and sour cream. Normally I would have eaten at least 2 or 3 of those but I only ate the one. The only bummer part is the fact that it took me a whole 2 seconds to finish dinner, it probably took me 5 minutes fixing my plate. I have to get use to the fact that eating takes 0 time now. I am still determined to change the way I live, I am eating way less, way more vegetables, and I am active, I work out for about 40 minutes in the morning and I am trying to get 10 minutes of pilates in the afternoons, until Summer gets bored anyway. Oh while working out this morning I had an episode of SVT, sucky, I hate SVT. I hate when my heart just starts beating fast for no apparent reason, so annoying, but I pushed through it and did push-ups and situps and when I finished my sit-up set it had stopped. At least it never lasts long and at least I don't get anxiety when it happens anymore.

Day 15

I think today is day 15, we are still going strong, eating very small portions, waking up and working out. Yesterday my pilates DVD arrived, I started it in the afternoon but Summer was bored so I didn't get very far into it. I liked what I was, hopefully I can get 10 minutes in each day for extra oomph. I did lose another half a pound, crazy how much weight I am losing, where does it all go? I really didn't think I had that much weight to lose, I guess I was wrong. This morning after the workout I swear I thought I saw some abs on my stomach, how cool would that be! I will get them eventually.

Great Weekend

Overall the weekend was a challenge but we met that challenge and won! This morning I weighed in at -4, can you believe I have lost 4 pounds in 2 weeks, that almost sounds impossible to me but the scale can't be wrong, well I guess it could be but I am pretty sure it is correct. I can see the difference in my thighs and stomach and I can feel the difference when I put pants on that were once tight. Friday night we went to a late movie (Star Trek - awesome) and resisted the very expensive movie treats, sodas, popcorn, nothing for us. Then on Saturday we went to the mall late and decided to test ourselves and get mall food for dinner. My plan is to know exactly what I am going to eat before I get there, that way I am not stuck making a quick bad decision. At first it was 1 hamburger from McDonalds, but then I remembered they had fully loaded baked potatoes and chose that instead. I got the potato but it looked so unhealthily loaded so I only ate just a bit over half, and I had a lemonade to drink, which wasn't in the plan but I have been craving one so I did it. Kris has a salad and ate about half and Summer had a few chicken nuggets and a bite of my potato. She also had a cute little lemonade. On Sunday we decided to grill out burgers for Mother's Day, so I forgo my morning snack and had a burger, one burger, but I tore off all the extra bread. I added mustard/ketchup, avocado and sauteed onions. It was delicious. There were a lot left so I forgo my afternoon snack and had another burger for dinner, but I ate a little less, and I ate some honeydew. I didn't really get any vegetables but I did really good about watching my portion control. I don't feel like it was the best weekend eating but at least I watched it and ate less than I normally would have and I felt full and energized most of the weekend. The hunger pains are all but gone these days, the energy is coming back, it isn't as hard to wake up in the morning - ok I am lying about the last one, it is still really hard to wake up knowing I have to go work out. Our workouts are only around 35/40 minutes, about 15/20 minutes of cardio, then we do lunges, weights, push-ups and sit-ups. Really not a bad workout and just enough to get our hearts pumping and bodies burning. I am still waiting for the pilates tape, I want to do something else in the afternoons when I get home and relaxed. It is actually still kinda cold in the mornings and that makes it a little harder to wake up, but I am a baby to waking up early anyway, luckily most mornings I have to get up and go pee so I have a good reason for getting out of bed.

Energy !!!

Yes, finally my energy has returned and I am eating no more. I knew it wasn't food, it was just my body readjusting to all the crazy quick changes. Last night was wonderful, I made dinner, played with Summer, went shopping, went to the park. This morning's workout was the best yet, even tho I did wake up hungry which was a first, maybe it was the pasta from the spaghetti last night, carbs do that right? It went away before I had breakfast, sometime during my workout. I was really proud of myself, I can tell the workout is getting easier. I also ordered pilates for dummies and that should arrive before I go on vacation. I want something to do while I am away from home. I was teaching Summer some basic workout moves last night, it was so cute, she can imitate me so good now. We laid on the floor and put our feet in the air then we opened and closed our legs, then we touched our toes, then we ran in the air, then we rolled onto our stomachs and kicked our legs - she had so much fun watching and participating. I hope the pilates tape is easy enough that she can enjoy it. I am anxious to get it and check it out.
Overall things are going well and getting easier. I created a weekly menu to keep things simple, two items, a meat and veggie or one night we are doing chicken tortillas. I will change the list up each week but having a basic list of healthy foods helps. I still measure the day in times to eat but the food doesn't matter as much. I am still hungry some of the time, like right now in fact but not bad, and I only have an hour before I can eat my yogurt afternoon snack. I can already see and feel the difference in my stomach, I can see it is so much flatter and I can feel myself digesting differently. We took photos when we started, I am sure you can see a difference but I don't know when we will take new photos. I say for anyone who has to see results - don't weight, take pictures, it shows you SO much more. I haven't lost any weight since I dropped to 138 but I don't expect to since I am building muscle and readjusting weight around. I am still happy that I made it almost two weeks since the first two weeks are always the hardest. Now I have to keep at it!

Much Better

I felt so much better last night - I had SO much more energy. I was hoping the energy would eventually come to me. I figure there are 4 key points to this whole lifestyle change that I have had to overcome.
1- Waking up earlier. Instead of waking up at 6:30 we are waking up at 5:30. It was hard at first and there will be days that I won't want to get up out of bed but having Kris next to me motivates me to hurry and get up before he does hehe.
2- Working out. Working out can be hard, right now it is kicking my butt and today seemed harder but it is going faster. Some days I am just not motivated to try very hard. The first day I felt sick, my teeth hurt and I had no fun but I am not pushing myself that hard, there is no reason to get sick and be in pain. Now I take the workout slower, at my own pace, do what I can, I try to push myself some but I have issues with cardio. I just bought a pilates DVD that I want to try with Summer and I need something to take with me on vacation in two weeks.
3- Eating Less. It is hard to change your diet. The hardest part in the beginning is the amount, eating about 1/3 to 2/3's less can be really hard. By day 1 I was ready to quit but it helped to read other blogs about some people I know who are trying to save starving people in Africa - Darfur. Those people are hungry, I am not.
4- Energy. I have had some issues with energy, it comes in waves, some days I have more than others. For a while I had almost none, not to mention I am tired at night because I am getting up so early.
Overcoming those 4 things can be done and I know I will feel better soon.

What day am I on?

I just can't keep the days straight anymore, maybe that is a good thing. I felt bad about losing my hunger pains but maybe they are just gone. I have a new nagging problem - energy. Working out and eating healthy is suppose to give a person more energy but I haven't found mine yet. I don't know why, I can only assume I might be eating too little - but seriously, could I be eating too less? Today I am going to eat a tad bit more to see, even though I feel like I am eating enough and I no longer feel hunger pains. I actually was surprised when I stepped on the scale today and saw I had lost another whole pound. I have lost 3.5 pounds since last Monday, I really didn't think I would really lose so much weight as fast as I have. My breakfast was the same, 1/2 banana and a bowl of rice krispies and 1% milk, my morning snack (which comes up in 4 minutes) is peanuts but I added a few more. I bought some veggies to have with lunch, a piece of bread with peanut butter and honey. I have yogurt again for my afternoon snack, maybe I will add a few peanuts. Dinner tonight will be breakfast, scrambled eggs, cheese and bacon - yes I said bacon. Two pieces, I have to get rid of it or it will go bad. I might even have half a piece of toast. It all sounds like enough to me - so we will see how I feel tomorrow. It could still be the adjustment to waking up early.

Day 8

I am actually starting to wonder where the hunger pains are. I am eating about the same, maybe a bit more breakfast in the morning, but the hunger pains are gone now. I guess they were suppose to go away but they were comforting knowing I was eating less. I hope I am still eating less, it seems like it but it can be hard to tell. Today I had a 1/2 banana for breakfast with my rice krispies. Maybe I am adding too much cereal and milk? For my morning snack I had a few peanuts again, I think 5 almonds and 10 peanuts. For lunch I had a piece of wheat bread with peanut butter and a few squirts of honey - I was really craving honey, and some broccoli and carrots steamed with garlic. I didn't realize the veggies had added seasonings, I hate when they do that. For my afternoon snack I will have yogurt again and for dinner I am making chicken plain, well salt pepper and lemon juice and asparagus and another vegetable Summer can eat. I have to come up with a better lunch, actually as long as I can incorporate a vegetable I am ok with bread I guess. Eggs would be a better breakfast, scrambled with salsa and a banana, maybe I can do that and cut out the rice krispies and just have a small glass of milk. Anyway rambling about food, at least I don't feel at all like I am deprived, I have no weird food cravings errr wait last night while falling asleep I was salivating thinking about McDonald's french fries. I actually imagined myself walking into a McDonald's asking to taste 4-5 fries to see if they were fresh and of course not ordering more, just to be able to taste a few. I can taste the yummy salt on the crunchy fry, then I wondered if I was craving salt, so I imagined eating salt and yuck nope I didn't just want salt, I wanted to fry to go with it. I fell asleep and woke up without strange food dreams luckily. Waking up is getting easier too, I know I am awake before the alarm even goes off. I have plenty of energy in the morning, the work out is so much easier now. I can tell a difference in just a week. I am happy with the results, oh and not that I am weighing daily but I have lost 2.5 pounds still but I feel so much smaller already.

Day 7

In 7 days I have lost 2 pounds but I feel like I am shrinking. It is not about the weight loss, it can't be because if it is all about weight then as soon as I lose the weight I will fail. I am not on a diet because diet's never work, I am eating healthy. I am eating so much less and so much healthier. My portion sizes are so small and I eat two or three snacks a day to help. I am getting active, I work out each morning and did you know mornings are the best time to work out? When you work out in the morning your body will burn fat because you haven't eaten in so long. I am walking further to my car, parking further, and just generally trying to stay active. The hunger pains are all but gone except when it is close to time to eating again. I am still tired but I have already adjusted to waking up an hour earlier, my body is awake again before the alarm clock. I did sacrifice an hour at night, I am going to bed around 9:00 because I am so tired. I have moments of complete exhaustion but I was also menstruating last week and that could have been why. Eventually I will have more energy, probably in another week - but I feel like the worse is over, I made it past the hardest week and it looks good from here!

Day 5

Last night I had a wonderful dinner - grilled steak and steamed broccoli. I had an entire filet minon and quite a bit of broccoli yet about 30 minutes later the hunger pains returned and stayed until I went to bed. I know I wasn't hungry, they were there because it was Friday night and normally I had something yummy, like ice cream. I almost caved into the craving, it was so bad last night. I caught myself thinking eating healthy is stupid, who cares if you are fat and unhealthy, everyone else is eating what they want - but luckily I resisted and I know it will get easier with time.
Today Kris, Summer and I woke up and ate our healthy breakfast and headed to a state park close to home. It was beautiful, it has 2 ponds and it was not very hot. We spent an hour walking around just looking at everything so we did get moving. Then we went to a park and had our morning snacks, a few peanuts for me. Summer enjoyed swinging and sliding. Next stop on the journey is lunch. I can only think a few hours ahead, the day is split into meals and snacks now. Eventually this will become second nature but for now I have to really think about it. I am not sure what I am going to have for lunch, maybe 1/2 sandwich and some fruit, that sounds good.

Steak for Dinner

I am hungry right now, well not really hungry but I have hunger pains, not bad. I had 1/2 a pb&j sandwich on wheat bread and 4 almonds. For my afternoon snack I had 4 almonds and 10 peanuts. I am not real worried because we are having grilled steak and veggies for dinner and I can't wait!

Day 4

Day 4 of working out and eating less/healthy food is going great. The constant hunger pains are finally gone and the tiredness is easing up. I realized I can't do this to loose weight because I will fail like last time. When we lost all the weight last time, which was our goal, we relaxed and here we are again, so this time I am just doing it as a lifestyle change - losing weight will be one of the benefits, as will the extra energy. I started at 141.5 pounds 3 days ago when I weighed, today I was 140.5. I don't expect much weight loss, with all the muscle building and weight repositioning I will notice the pants getting looser and that will be the test. Yesterday we went grocery shopping and bought our weekly healthier meals. I decided it would be easier to eat the same 7 meals each week of course making the portions smaller. Lots of veggies and protein at dinner, chicken, pork chops, beef stew, spaghetti, grilled steak, tuna melts and a free night to just pick at whatever we can find. This is going to save us a ton of money - we won't be eating fast food 3 to 4 times a week anymore. Working out this morning was easier, I also started multi vitamins. I am still really tired at night, I have been going to bed around 9:00 but that will balance itself out. Today I had a small bowl of rice krispies, 1% milk and 1/2 a banana for breakfast, a glass of hot tea, for snacks I will have a few peanuts/almonds and yogurt, lunch will be honey wheat bread with pb, maybe jelly and maybe a veggie, dinner tonight is 1 little steak and grilled veggies, or pork chops cooked on the stove with salt/pepper and a veggie if Kris doesn't feel like grilling.